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What you should know about Emotion Coaching.

MUCH of today’s popular advice to parents focuses on how to manage behavior.  Understandably, ill behaved (non-compliant) children put a strain upon even the most patient of parents.

However, the ultimate goal of raising children should not be merely to have a well-behaved or compliant child.  Most of us can hope for much more for our children. Goals such as wanting our children to know and trust their creator, be moral and responsible people who contribute to society, have the strength to make their own choices, enjoy the accomplishments of their own talents, enjoy life and it’s rewards, have meaningful relationships, marriages, and who themselves parent well if they have their own children.

After a decade of research, Dr.’s John and Julie Gottman of The Gottman Institute identified five simple activities that certain parents did with their children that provided the relational foundation necessary to assisting their kids achieve goals like these and more.  Gottman qualified these five activities and labeled them as a skill set he called “Emotion Coaching.”  He discovered that the children who had parents that practiced Emotion Coaching with them grew up to develop what Daniel Goleman called “emotional intelligence” (otherwise known as “EQ”).

Turns out that psychologically and biologically, developing EQ is incredibly important.  This is because Gottman’s research shows that Children who develop EQ simply have greater capacities than children who are not emotion coached by their parents (and therefore do not develop much EQ). These capacities include being able to regulate their own emotional states as well as being better at soothing themselves when they are upset. This ability to self-regulate and soothe also calms down the heart faster. Because of the superior performance in the part of physiology that is involved in calming themselves, they have greater immunology and are thus prone to fewer infectious illnesses. They are better at focusing attention, relate better socially with diverse groups, and are more adept at handling difficult social situations.  They are better at communicating and understanding others. They have closer friendships with other children. They also have greater academic performance, and do not give up as easily as children who are not emotion coached.

What to expect from this Program:

This program will give you the basic tools you need to become an emotionally responsive parent, and in turn, will present you with the framework to help you raise emotionally intelligent children.  The program is simplified for an online learning experience, and since it is an online course, it is strongly suggested that you practice what you learn each lesson with someone you trust.

The video for this program was filmed at a live Emotion Coaching workshop produced by the Gottman Institute and presented by Drs. John and Julie Gottman.  The videos in this course are password protected because they are uploaded in the cloud and only those enrolled in this course may view them.  The password for the videos is provided with each lesson.

The material is divided into six lessons. Each lesson will have a short video, provide supplemental material regarding each topic, a chapter from the parent handbook that was produced for the course, as well as exercises to complete.  These exercises are designed to help you deepen your Emotion Coaching learning experience by providing an opportunity for your reflection and follow-up to areas that might need more focused attention.

Finally, Emotion coaching isn’t just good for kids, it’s helpful for ALL interpersonal relationships.  At the end of the course, there is a link to a supplemental reading list of material I find to be essential in becoming an emotionally intelligent family.

You can complete each lesson at your own pace, and you can do more than one lesson a day if you have the time. However, don’t rush.  Rather, take the time to dive deeply into each topic and digest the thought-provoking information that you glean from both the supplemental material as well as the short videos.

What you will learn:

  • The importance of emotions and what role they play in our daily life.
  • How to recognize, respond to, and validate what your child is feeling.
  • How to be an effective emotion coach using the 5 Steps of Emotion
    Coaching with children of any age.
  • Ways to express understanding and empathy.
  • How to effectively set limits and problem-solve with your children


Finally, it is important to KEEP A JOURNAL and write in it as you journey through each lesson.  Some of the information is substantive, as well as extremely personal.  So it’s important to work through all the material in the course slowly. I also want to encourage you to write down if anything comes up for you emotionally as you work through the lessons.

  • Notice how you feel about certain concepts.
    • If you feel uncomfortable, then record that and ask yourself what that’s about.
    • If you feel excited, then record that with the same question.

Keeping a journal is important because you will use it to reflect back on where you were when you started this course, and assess where you see yourself at the end and what you would like to improve upon for your family.

You only get as much from the material as you are willing to reflect on it and digest it.  Growth requires work no matter what the subject.  Becoming a Praiseworthy Parent is no different.  I am so glad your here!!